So here’s a thing. My body has crashed this month. Stress on top of anxiety, layered with stress. I have done nothing with my art because I can’t be at my table because of the neck and back pain. I have 3 oil blends on the list, long overdue, and another in the wings. I can’t bend for them either yet. I have missed 3 of 4 Tai Chi classes. My digestive system has been sending stress overload signals in new and colourful ways. The one ball I’ve mostly not dropped is my hospice obligation. All of the above led to my most recent blog post.
This is like a P.S. to yesterday’s post. A thing I’ve heard me say to myself recently is a long time lie and I noticed because I hurt something in my right foot or leg that has made days of pain from ankle to hip. What I keep saying is, “I did it to myself.” Now, yes, I did, but not on purpose and not through lack of mindfulness. It happened. Things happen to bodies. I need to stop saying things that blame me, things that happen in spite of care. I need to stop beating myself up over it all. I need to stop the guilt loop.
I’m not seeking comfort from my f’list. I adore you, but this is an explanation post. I am seeking patience if I owe you something. That would be great.