Gratitude Project – not taking things personally

This is one of the gifts of the book, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz that just keeps on giving. I don’t practice it perfectly, as sometimes it takes a few days to kick in depending on how fragile I’m feeling at the moment. This week I was able to practice immediately.

In the last week I’ve had 5 video calls scheduled. One has actually happened and one unscheduled one happened. Three were forgotten by the other party, one was cancelled due to illness. The one that happened is a monthly thing and I originally kept it going after the original purpose of it being monthly was moot. It lasts an hour except this week where it lasted 3 hours. I know! But all 3 felt necessary to both of us. The unscheduled one was suggested during texting with a dear friend and it was a great (not my) idea plus now I’ve used Face Time for the first time!

Now, years-ago-me would have taken the forgotten ones really hard – what is wwwrrroooooooonnnnnngggg with me! Why am I forgotten??? Fear of abandonment triggers, while absolutely grounded in a reality of the past, would have leapt up, grabbed me by the throat, and had me in an angst filled funk in this present if I hadn’t learned not to take things personally. New/current me thought, “Huh. That’s interesting,” and then said, “Yeeeesssss! Free time!” Current me forgot to even tell myself to not take it personally because that is how thoroughly I’ve learned it.

I’ve learned it so well that I forgot to be careful with my other friend who suddenly has all of her time taken with other things and people and our chatting has dropped off to near nothing. I whined, in text, about missing her, and forgot to make it clear (text! it needs so much more effort than face-to-face!) I was merely whining and not whining-how-dare-you! Yes, I am not responsible for others’ feelings, but I work hard not to be the ass who is easily misinterpreted. That is where my direct-and-frank habit comes from, the desire to be clearly understood. (Hint: if you are speaking with someone who takes things personally it doesn’t matter if you are direct-and-frank or the opposite, they’ll take it personally.) My friend didn’t take it personally, but I had to ask to know this, because, text.

Anyhoozle, I find it deeply fascinating that the video calls I initiated scheduling, both sides showed up for, and the ones I did not initiate scheduling didn’t happen. There are varied reasons for that and none of them has anything to do with me. When you learn not to take things personally you know in your bones that how other people behave is all about them, and not a thing about you.

The gift that keeps on giving – huzzah! (And unexpected bonus me time!)

Two and a half years ago, I was reminded of it today

An Unlikely Trio

Stir the soil and wet the ground to await the root,
stir the cauldron and scrape the sides to await the brew,
stir the hairs and part the knees to
await the seed.

Beltane flickers, white side of the veil to Samhain’s black,
Amid the grays of the in-between
The Ancients mix my blood, wash my marrow, and mend my flesh;
In pewter folds of silk spun with gossamer thread
The pulsing howls of orgasm echo the first wails of the newborn.

Through Life comes Death comes Life again.

Anubis to the left and Isis to the right,
masks and breath and scales and wings;
Embalming fluid in Cerridwen’s cauldron,
preserving not my body
that grows then sags and disintegrates like old paper;
but preserving my Self,
that glows then sings, folds and unfolds;

Origami of my Soul.

The damp scented air releases names
not quite spoken and barely heard,
mute and blind
the blade queries,
Truth revealed in mirrors and glitter bombs.

© Pamela V Jones, Beltane 2012

Authority and submission – not always the dirty little words you think they are

The quotes below remind me of initiation and the joyful giving up of authority in order to be transformed. It reminds me of why we submit, sometimes, for our own greater good. It reminds me of why I did such on this anniversary of my two initiations, each one done at Beltane. It reminds me of how the action of submission to authority allowed the passing of the currents. It reminds me how in so doing  I could become comfortable with my own authority. These energies so vital to my Joy, these energies that run through me weaving threads of connection and connectedness inward and outward, that bind in Love. These would not have been possible without a new understanding of submission and authority. I am so very grateful.


From a Diana’s Grove person:

“A safe group, a healthy group, has a leader. Here’s why: if it doesn’t, then no one is responsible for the group’s safety. Here is the other reason: there are no leaderless groups. Groups have overt leaders, acknowledged leaders, or they have covert, unacknowledged leaders.

Responsibility = Authority = Power = Impact = Responsibility.

If you are Responsible you need the Authority to fulfill that responsibility. If you have Authority, you are Powerful. And if you are Powerful, you make an Impact on others. If you Impact others, you are Responsible for that impact. When you act responsibly in your use of power, and when you take responsibility for the impact you have on others, you gain more authority. That is the spiral of leadership.”

~Cynthea Jones

In discussion about authority, initiation, and submission Amoret spoke of a nugget she gleaned from a work by G. I. Gurdjieff (not his quote because this is a summation of what Amoret took from the text):

Submitting to the will of a trusted teacher is important. You learn to submit to another, and in that process you learn to submit to yourself. Later, when your Godself tells you something is necessary, you act according to your Will.

~Amoret BriarRose

Happy anniversaries to me!