Category: religious work

How it’s going 4/2/2026

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Thursdays with few exceptions are my chemo + days for 3 out of 4 Thursdays. It’s relentless and though the chemo kills cancer cells it also kills my white blood cells who are key to fighting infections. It specifically wipes out my ABS neutrophils that are key immune cells. It’s a dance, for sure, and fatigue is high when my white cells drop.

Today was chemo + with the plus being added immunotherapy that happens on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays.

Today my white cell count was so low they hand counted my ABS neutrophils to see if I could have the Abraxane(chemo). They decided yes as next week is my off week from chemo.

Dr. Malhotra, Mikaela her PA, and I are on the same page about no immune booster (growth hormone) unless there’s no other choice and then we’ll try a half dose because my mast cell disorder causes extreme side effects at full doses. I was so worn out today I slept thru the ice mittens and ice booties part. For me to sleep thru that level of cold is bizarre. But I diiiidd. Lol

I spoke with the integrative oncology doctor to see about getting some tips for working around my borked taste buds from the dietician (I have an appointment with her). I also am starting a virtual exercise program next week. I had my consult yesterday. My follow up with my pulmonologist is Monday. Busy is busy. Oh and later this month I’m consulting with the palliative care team to see about a pain patch so my sleep is less broken. My next MRI of brain is the 13th.

Almost all my hair is gone now. YoungerBoy gave me a buzz cut for comfort. My eyebrows are almost completely gone. In all visual ways I look like a cancer patient. And I don’t feel like one. I know I’m one. Inner me feels healthy same as inner me feels like a younger version of myself. Perception is so weird.

🎉🎉 FUN STUFF🎉🎉

Co-facilitating Rites of Passage was a promise kept made 9 years ago after a Rites class down in Virginia in 2017. The container was gently and sweetly held. The care and flow thru the 5 layers of the ocean was ideal. My stamina held, with a little dip in the last dance, but that was brief. It was the most me I’ve felt in a long time.

Monday brought exhaustion as did Tuesday, but boy was it worth it to be in that space with those excellent people. Every single person there brought beauty and vulnerability to the workshop. 💙 🌊 🐟 🐋 🐳 🏖️

Mindfulness is bloody hard

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This is one of the most difficult concepts for me to not argue against. What do meeeeaaaannnn I’m not my thoughts and feelings?!? Of course I am! Oh wait, thank gods I’m not. With a brain that runs a hundred directions at once, really, thank gods I am not.

My essence, my love that is life force, the whatsit in us that drives and powers all that is, I know are not my thoughts and feelings. It is so much more and so much less than the story in my head. In those sparse and atm rare moments that I remember this, I find peace within.

Bees and Reclaiming Pittsburgh

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Honey bees, the ones who have doing community correctly down pat. They all have their jobs, they all do their jobs, and in so doing they support each other and the community. They care for and feed their queen. The queen is the center of the community and with care and food this center supports, maintains, and allows the hive to expand. This system also produces more queens! Whatever is at the center of community is fed and cared for so it will remain viable and useful. What would you like to be the center of Reclaiming Pittsburgh? How can we feed our community so it grows and thrives?

Join us for “Back to the Hive: Reclaiming Pittsburgh Community Meeting” on Saturday, October 21st, 2017, 1 PM – 5 PM, at 2011 Noble St, Pittsburgh, PA, 15218-2100.

Back to the Hive: Reclaiming Pittsburgh’s Annual Ritual Community Meeting
What do we mean by ritual community meeting? We will be doing the sacred work of planning and decision making for the November 1, 2017 – October 31, 2018 cycle. We will be casting, calling in the elements, doing trance, raising energy, etc. while making consensus decisions for the future of the Reclaiming Pittsburgh community.
Do you have a proposal for the Reclaiming Pittsburgh Community for the November 1, 2017 – October 31, 2018 cycle? Is there a process, type of work, or discussion that you would like to see manifested? Please send your proposals or discussion topics to Amoret BriarRose at amoret@amoretbriarrose.com by October 7, 2017.
Witchy/magical attire encouraged!
**Parking at the location. If you’re approaching 2011 Noble St and the building is on your left, continue 1/2 block to Center St. and turn right. Go another 1/2 block and a parking lot is on your left.
If the location is on your right as you proceed on Noble St, then you will turn left on Center St. 1/2 block prior to reaching the building.
The lot is metered, but never checked according to our event hostess.

Paganism: resists infallible leader syndrome, eats them when they fail

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“….I’m always hesitant about stepping into leadership in my community. I feel called to share my gifts, and resist the glare of the spotlight. Scrutiny is a difficult thing, but my religious community prides itself on being fully human in all the places of our lives. We encourage and embrace each other as we flail and fall, dust off our knees, and rise to the task again and again. We neither coddle nor punish weakness. Sometimes punish strength. We walk the edges – try not to fall into codependence, hold our boundaries, and push through our discomfort…..”

 

First published on paganbloggers at Musings from the Bone.

Manifesting to Fullness

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At times I forget how much the Universe enjoys assisting in the process of manifestation. Speak your desires, take actions to support them, and notice when the Web of All That Is shakes the strings a bit to facilitate what manifests. For maximum manifestation of desires to be achieved I believe we work hand-in-hand with Creation, each needing the other for fullness.

I’ve been clearing my spiritual plate of all the items that were too shiny to pass on in the moment, but don’t serve the direction I’m heading in. I desire to make room for what is most fulfilling, what brings me the most joy, and what sends useful energy out into the world – the three of those together are the criteria for a thing being an emphasis in my life.

Discernment can be quite difficult when you are attracted to all the glittering bits and I was being easily distracted, so I wiped the plate. *boom* Empty. The decision of what to add back, what new things to plop on it, felt very intimidating at first, so I rode that scary part like the experienced rider I know that I am. I created my criteria to facilitate success from my end while trusting the Universe when something unanticipated is removed from my plate without direct action from me.

It’s an interesting time. Some things I feel will again be in my life in a few months, others I’m releasing indefinitely. In the meanwhile, I can feel the return of space in my breathing, that small pause between inhale and exhale where anything feels possible. What a delight!

My Ancestor Altar

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I was inspired to take photos of my ancestor altar by a post by Amoret. Apparently the ancestors wanted things to stay a bit in your imagination because the photos are blurry. Aren’t They a hoot?

By my best calculations I started this altar 15 years ago. I may be off a year, but because of where I had it set up at the other house I believe it was 2001. Eh, close enough, yes? It was my first ever altar (later were deity ones), and since it was put up it has remained up, from the last house to this house. It contents have grown over the years.

The first photo is the whole corner. The piece of furniture is a vanity from IIRC the 1930’s that I acquired along with some other pieces still in use in this house from my boss’ estate. He was the owner/boss at my first job that wasn’t babysitting.

ancestor-altar-2016

This second photo is dad and grandad casket flags, and underneath it is a framed saying about family. To the left is a mask my mum purchased in Mexico when she was in her early 20’s I think, so early 1950’s. To the right is a green ceramic cone that has sand in it and is used to burn incense.

On the wall to the left is a picture frame with some of mum’s ancestors and the Baron’s hat hung on a candle holder.

upclose1

The top of the vanity has a folded white tablecloth from my parents’ wedding gifts. This cloth is a recent addition, about a year ago. Candles, a chalice of water, cornmeal, photos in frames (with an always empty slot – for future me), anointing oil, my blessings oil blend for the candles, and the brass container housing graveyard dirt (thanks Mum!) are some of the items. There are various other mementos spread about on top and in the drawers underneath. I periodically change out some of the mementos on top.

upclose2

On the stool underneath are 2 casket crosses (mum’s and dad’s), 2 photo albums, and a genealogy book.

upclose3

Prayers, self-anointing, requests, water + candle blessings, thanks and reverence all occur here at various times. Do you have a place, altar, or practice for your ancestors? I’d love to hear about it!

What to do, what to do

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I tend to side-eye myself (I use a mirror?) when coincidences pop up and I think, “aha! Connection! Intelligent Universe!” I seem to give more grace to other folks’ coincidences than to my own. Now, I do believe some things are only coincidence, and other things not, and the latter is more common as a rule.

I don’t jump to Reason It’s Written in Destiny™ straight off. I wait to see if anything else shows up. At times I feel a push to do a thing, with no known reason for the pushing to be as hard and urgent as it feels. Take for instance collecting the moon water at the ocean last week. I mean sure – witchywoohoo why not? But it felt like a mandate more than a desire. I’ve learned not to question so much and just do in those situations, and allow myself to wonder later when I’ll know why.

Yesterday I was told stories by a woman of her visit to Standing Rock to deliver supplies to the water protectors there. I’m not going to tell her stories here, they are hers to tell in her own blog. She talked of elders reskilling tribal members in the old ways of their traditions: herbs, and medicines, and blessings – especially the water blessings with wonderful details. There was a story of moondancers and a water blessing that reminded me much of the Waters of the World spell in my own tradition and we talked about this.

My friend had just stopped for the night, a pitstop on her way back home. As she thanked me for the couch of hospitality she reached into her car and pulled out a bit of sage from Standing Rock. She handed it to me as a thank you. I was touched. As I held that sage I thought of the moondancers and their water blessing. I thought of the moonwater I’d collected on a whim. I didn’t even side-eye myself, I just smiled.

These 3 things need to be put together as a working for the waters and the protectors. They have a purpose beyond the obvious. Mystery – how it arrives, what it holds, and what is released as it manifests is a big part of the draw to my path. What to do with these 3 things remains to be discovered, but once done I will again feel Mystery’s Touch. May I never tire of it.

“Breaths” – Sweet Honey in The Rock

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Poem by Birago Diop; Music by Ysaye Maria Barnwell © 1980

listen more often to things than to beings
listen more often to things than to beings

tis the ancestors breath when the fire’s voice is heard
tis the ancestors breath in the voice of the water

those who have died have never, never left
the Dead are not under the earth

they are in the rustling trees, they are in the groaning woods
they are in the crying grass, they are in the moaning rocks

the Dead are not under the earth

so listen more often to things than to beings
listen more often to things than to beings

tis the ancestors breath when the fire’s voice is heard
tis the ancestors breath in the voice of the water

those who have died have never, never left
the Dead have a pact with the living

they are in the woman’s breast
they are in the wailing child

they are with us in the home
they are with us in the crowd

the Dead have a pact with the living

so listen more often to things than to beings
listen more often to things than to beings

tis the ancestors breath when the fire’s voice is heard
tis the ancestors breath in the voice of the water

listen more often to things than to beings
listen more often to things than to beings

tis the ancestors breath when the fire’s voice is heard
tis the ancestors breath in the voice of the water

I need to note this – extra active Spirits

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I’ve been meaning to “note this somewhere” and here is as good as any place, yes? Starting about mid-August I’ve noticed unusually active spirits, sprites, Beloved Dead, and various other flitting-about Energies. Generally these are always around, seen when looking, and more easily visible as the veil thins towards Samhain. But this year, this year,  they are early and active, like whoa.

It has been a distraction especially while driving. They are not fluttery wisps, they are dense and quick. So much so I’ve been reacting as if pedestrians are about to rush in front of my car. It is quite unnerving when I’m behind the wheel. I cannot fathom what it’s going to be like once we’re at Samhain, but I’m rather excited to find out. Hail our (often) Unseen!

The Gods and Releasing Expectations

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It can be easy for me to fall into a rut with what Work I expect from which God. This is based on past experiences, trance with them, and their standard associations. I put Them in a box. They like boxes as much as we do, which is not at all, as boxes tend to suffocate, no matter how delightful.

Yemaya has Her box in my head. It’s a lovely one with salted waters flowing through the bottom, brilliant beige sands on the left, and plush greens on the right. Stars whirl and flash hot across the top and the walls are bright colours with art made of discarded seashells. The soundscape is a hearty mix of ocean waves, lapping brooks, birdsong, and music that carries the rhythm of my blood pulsing to my heart. The smellscape is sweet tangy flowers, brine, and the sensuous odour of Love. All of creation she holds in her hands, her heart, her womb. Her feet leave seeds of renewal with every step of the dance. I love her box. She does, too, but, it is still a box.

Yemaya wants to come to Medusa camp in July. I’ve had other Goddesses and Gods surprise me with which events they wish to attend with me, eschewing their boxes. I guess at Who wants to travel for a gathering and then They tell me yes or no, while Others jump in demanding to be taken. Hel wants to come to Medusa camp this year. Of course She does! No surprise! Death is a big piece of this story. And …. so is life. Hel is always reminding me of her left side, the living flesh side. It’s amusing, because I know, I know, and yet She whispers in my ear, “Life feeds on death the same as death feeds on life.”

I should have suspected something big was coming with Yemaya when she insisted a few months ago that her shrine be moved to a more prominent place and she wanted more attention. Both have occurred.

I have a long time online friend who has started looming ask if I wanted a rainbow cloth/altar scarf for my Work concerning the Orlando massacre in a gay club on June 11th during Latinx night. My energies and spellwork are for the Beloved Dead and for healing and justice for the LGBTQA++ going forward. My friend asked what Powers and Gods with their associated energies did I want to pull in. Yemaya lithely jumped to Her delicious feet, stopped her dance of the heavens, turned full face to me, and said with somber eyes plus a firm tone, “ME”. (Others desired to lend power to this project, but Yemaya was first.)

My friend weaves magic into her work with the loom. To be quite honest, she weaves magic into everything. For her newest Art of looming she has a lovely process of calling and weaving which you can read about here. My cloth is near done. As my friend was weaving Yemaya stepped in, speaking Her expectations of me for this Work. These messages have been passed on to me. She is coming to camp, and to other events in the future, for this Work, for this Magic. Beautiful as it is, a box is constricting, and the Gods will not be limited. Nor should They be. They expect us not to limit ourselves, either. Ashé.