Category: calling

The Pagan Experience, blog project, wk 4, alphabet letters

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Prompt from The Pagan Experience: Any writing for the letters A or B– I am keeping this familiar format on week 4 of each month for those who have joined me from the Pagan Blog Project.

My word is assumptions. (No, I’m not going to pull out the old ass-u-me thing because I think that is bogus based on how the human brain works when trying to sort things quickly.) Assumptions that are not checked against reality, or no effort is put forth to see if the assumption is correct or incorrect, that is the thorn in my lovely aching side. Lazy assumptions, because it’s easier than wrangling difficult or new-to-you concepts. I’ve had it with all of them.

Pagans who’ve glommed on to the New Age movement are especially adept at assumptions of “how people should behave” and at what empathy, compassion, kindness, and love look like. They create tiny boxes. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, those boxes hold all the things that are familiar to them and all the things that are exact replicas of how they do those things.

This is the easy way out of truly getting to know the variety that makes up humanity. It is a way of avoiding the difficult work of learning nuances and shades of presentation by dismissing anything and anyone that doesn’t fit neatly into your box. All done while claiming to be Super Spiritual™ themselves and Doing the Hard Work™.

Hey there box person. You missed a step.

Maybe even several steps.

So this is happening! Join me!! On Sale to boot! (sale ends Saturday)

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At the Crossroads: Finding Your Purpose… is HERE!

by Chief Luisah Teish

KNOWING YOUR PURPOSE IS THE KEY TO ADDRESSING OPPRESSION AND ACHIEVING COLLECTIVE LIBERATION.

Political, cultural and spiritual liberation were never meant to be separate: they are extensions of each other — and they were always treated as such in the most radical of social justice movements.

Knowing who we are, and what we need to do — with deep clarity of purpose — is the most dangerous thing for systems of oppression. With purpose, we cannot be used or enslaved.

We want to grow our personal and collective power exponentially by tapping into the infinite wells of the spirit, so we put together this offering…

….

You’ll have to hit up the web site for the details, but this looks fabulous. I took the free Spirit of Activism class 2 weeks ago. I am SO excited!

LINK

Orange candles – my Work

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I need to order more. When I went to my supply to set lights for a friend’s dying grandmother I discovered only one orange candle left. I didn’t remember getting low. I would have ordered more because the dying or newly dead don’t always give enough warning to reorder in time. It’s a rather odd Job that I have, lights for transitions from life to death (and death to life, though orange candles are not for babies, white ones are). Not just a light, but specifically orange, always orange for the transition. Not everywhere that carries candles will sell orange except perhaps at Halloween so when I find a decent price I buy some. Except this year I didn’t even look and then poof, the last one went.

I have other colours for people who request candles and for workings either personal or purchased, but the inventory on the orange ones are always a surprise. One year they last and last and then another year they are gone quickly. I should have known to look at my stock as the holidays approached – so many leave at this time of year.

Thanks to ebay more are on their way. Do you think the dying will hold off on their final breath for a few days?

“Why can’t you be nice???”, or, why I get angry on the Internet

Published on by Boneweaver (aka pjvj)4 Comments

1) It’s my job.

2) It’s my Job.

3) People respond to it, not to my “let us pray for peace” posts.

I am a transition Priestess. I walk the Edges and I do it well. I move people and spirits from life to death, from here to there, from comfortable to uncomfortable, from complacent to transformed. It’s my job. If folks paid attention to nice, I’d do that, but on the Internet folks pay attention to RAWR! Especially on Facebook.

People engage when they see the !!!!!!s on my Facebook posts. Some engage in support, others engage to tell me I’m full of crap, or they are apologists, or they are simply saying, “But I….” Frankly, I don’t care from which direction you engage – you are engaging and that brings awareness, that promotes discussion. I tend to discuss the undiscussable (yes, not a word, I know). I discuss social injustice in a myriad of forms – racism, sexism, ableism, hetero-normative privilege, classism, etc-ism. I discuss sexual abuse. I loudly discuss these things.

I know most people who post to the OMGs!!! posts already agree with me. I also know from a decade on Delphi and other Beehive styled forums that posting only for those who reply is folly. Posting in controversial threads is for the lurkers. They are the ones who read, go off and think on all the sides they see voiced, and make up their minds.

Will I ever know who I influence? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Because my Job is to speak, to do, to be. What happens after that is somebody else’s Job. On the Internet I use a lot of RAWR!! Off of the Internet I use a lot candles, prayers, meditation, and energy work – sending for peace, praying for justice, lighting for Love.

I honour my Gods on and off the Internet. Some of Them are all about compassion. Not all of Them are about peaceful compassion. One of Them is about compassion that looks like a huge wave that flattens and takes the population of Crete. That is “Let’s start over” compassion. Another is about taking the spoils, the Dead, all of them – and placing them at the same banquet table. “Here,” She says, “dine across from your enemy. Forever.” One winks with His sole good eye twinkling at you, and chuckles at your flailing, compassionately. One bursts endless beauty and creation by gazing at Her reflection. And One dances at the crossroads, opens the way, and spins stories out of the ether, asking that they be repeated.

Why this post? Because people see RAWR!! and think that is Who I Am – sullen, angry, hunting for reasons to yell – and that is okay for them to think so. After all, what other people think of me is none of my business. But those same folks who don’t respond to my SJ posts because they no longer “do angry” also do not respond to my love and peace posts. Hhhmmmmm.

I get around 100 likes, comments, and shares off of two RAWR!! posts and <10 from two love and peace posts. Seriously. I’ve tested the theory. Quote an angry blogger, people respond. Posts photos from the Ferguson protest I went to, not a word. Cry horror at white privilege in Texas, people reply. Show Tibetan monks standing for social justice and get one two likes, no replies. (It may get more after this filters down to FB.)

So, I am going to stay angry on the Internet. And I’m going to keep my practices here at home. Both are my Job. You are mainly going to see only one of them online, though, because only one of them moves people best that I can tell. And moving people – here to there and Here to There – is my Job.

Update: Alive but not particularly social, Work, and an Anniversary

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Soooooooo many things. Mostly, things are happening spiritually that are very important and some of that involves human tasking to complete Work. Good things with Blossoming Bones Mystery School as the class Amoret and I are facilitating is going well and people appear to be running with the Work in wonderful and interesting ways. We have a team of “student facilitators” assisting with the discussion forum and that is wonderful, too. Amoret and I meet weekly to further the class, adjust to any changes in focus needed based on participant responses, etc.

I’m on the RAT (Ritual Arc Team) for next year’s summer intensive so Skype meetings for that. Spiralheart organizational meetings, via Skype, also. Initiate in-person and Skype meetings. Spiritual counseling. Mentoring get-togethers. Deep Listening group just getting off of the ground. And other not for public talking about Work.

All good things! But tiring. And with my neck and back screaming at meetings I am again readjusting my attention to self-care. Because hey! Still! I haven’t learned that I am not a robot! (Even though I know I am not. Stubborn streak?)

Still going to Tai Chi. In the fall my buddy and I moved to Sun 73 forms. It is pretty! It has kicking! (Sorta. Not huge kicks, but still – kicking!) I’m learning round loom knitting. I’ve made a cowl scarf! And it looks like a gift, not a practice piece. ~glee~ I’m now working on a hat, which is a gift for the hubster. Not a surprise gift, though he never reads my stuff, anyway, trusting I will inform him of Important Things. (He is so kind to think of me in this way even though experience has proven him wrong again and again.)

So with the busy I’ve dropped off of the social networks with occasionally sharing on FB and little original posting even there. Time, self-care, my students both online class and initiates, my marriage partner, my kids, my working partner, my coven members, my Gods demands (!!s) – so many pieces and they all work and I even have time for more stuff if I slack on social networks. And so I do.

Plus winter came early.

Plus today is 8 years that my mum died. It is an anniversary that stings greatly this year. You just never know when it will and when it won’t. I am again so grateful that she and I repaired our relationship in the years before she became ill and died. I am acutely aware that the reason this could occur was not only because I wanted it, but because she was a willing participant in healing it, too. I know this is not so for everyone who wishes such a thing and that always plops an extra helping of sadness on this day. Yet I am okay, in spite of the sadness and the big twinge, because I honour Death that is part our cycle, the same as I honour Life.

Blessings all around.

Two and a half years ago, I was reminded of it today

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An Unlikely Trio

Stir the soil and wet the ground to await the root,
stir the cauldron and scrape the sides to await the brew,
stir the hairs and part the knees to
await the seed.

Beltane flickers, white side of the veil to Samhain’s black,
Amid the grays of the in-between
The Ancients mix my blood, wash my marrow, and mend my flesh;
In pewter folds of silk spun with gossamer thread
The pulsing howls of orgasm echo the first wails of the newborn.

Through Life comes Death comes Life again.

Anubis to the left and Isis to the right,
masks and breath and scales and wings;
Embalming fluid in Cerridwen’s cauldron,
preserving not my body
that grows then sags and disintegrates like old paper;
but preserving my Self,
that glows then sings, folds and unfolds;

Origami of my Soul.

The damp scented air releases names
not quite spoken and barely heard,
mute and blind
the blade queries,
Truth revealed in mirrors and glitter bombs.

© Pamela V Jones, Beltane 2012

American Gods

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This topic has been running around my blogroll – who are the American Gods? This is separate from the NA traditions who have their own rituals and Gods that are specific to them. This is not appropriation or My-Gods-Can-Beat-Up-Your-Gods thing. This is a recognition that the Land has Spirits that are unique to the land, tied to no one people or trad. And Beings that came with our ancestors, hung around, named again or renamed.

Rivers, mountains, valleys, lakes, woodlands and plains. Have you met any? Did They name Themselves? I’d love to hear from you, sharing as much or as little as you are willing or able.

So…wow

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I’ve been really struggling the past few weeks. At first mostly doing it alone inside myself and with some of my practices. Then with the assistance of a beloved friend and including many more of my practices. I’ve been struggling to get back to center and to who I am as I know me to be, useful and filled with purpose. I was slipping, fast. I am through nature, nurture, and design one who is fairly aware of others around me. Not in a bad “I am not important” way, but in a chosen way. It is thing gifted to me through many means. I was slipping away from that. And as unnerving as it was to realize it, it was so much more so to realize it was so insidious that I hadn’t really paid attention to the slipping. o_O

With intensity in the last week I’ve been doing (my version) of kala to clear blockages, and triple soul work to get back into right alignment, re-examining my moral inventory, surrendering, reaching out to Those who can assist. And still I felt off. Not that I was expecting an overnight reversal (okay, that would be nice, but it doesn’t happen that way for me), but I was expecting more of a return to my central Self and Spirit. After 2 weeks, hm? Because of the depth of the work I’ve been doing and staying open and genuine, yes.

So what am I missing I was wondering? I dive into the traditions and practices that are mine in a way my own soul is, and yet I sometimes struggle with those very things. “Have I lost my shit? Who walks through the world believing these things: transition work with the dead and the Dead, cleansing, transmuting energies as needed, speaking with Deity? Maybe, just maybe, I’ve been playing the ultimate game of fiction with me as the star.” (And yes, we all do and we all are, but still.)

Ask and be shown. I had the opportunity to speak with a lovely person today. She phoned me with a story she wanted to tell and I was happy to make space for her to tell it. While relaying her story she said a small bit, maybe 2 sentences in length, that was absolutely the affirmation I needed when I hadn’t even known I needed it. Chills ran up and down my arms when she said it. As we are just beginning to get to know each other there is no way she could have known what she relayed to me except to have heard it in the manner that she said she did.

Here I sit, still dismayed and pleased, centered, and myself again. It feels really really good to be me again.

*bounce bounce*

I will not drag you kicking and screaming to the Work

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You want to learn, you want to do Deep Work. Kudos! I will assist you when you ask and when I am able, but I will not drag you kicking and screaming to it. If you want it the impetus must come from within you not from me on the outside.

I gladly parse out energy to willing people. I become miserly when you wish to lie on your back with the expectation that I’ll grab your foot and drag you with me. Push you? Oh, hayel yes! Catch you when you tip backwards from the force? Sure, as long as the lesson isn’t the fall itself. But if you want it you have to reach for it. That’s what this path is: being the force behind the Will and then engaging Will to be Who You Said You Would Be.

(On a related note: No skipping steps. No, IRAB (I Read A Book) or ITAC (I Took A Class) and now I’m ready to instruct others without all the praxis that must occur in between those steps. If you skip the steps the missing pieces will be spotlighted with time and the community you wish to engage will avoid you.

If you desire to be taken seriously, if your wish is to be Seen and Known and Trusted then you must Do The Work all the way through. You must want it, reach for it, and practice it. And check your ego and ethics every step of the way while surrounding yourself with folks who will call you on your behaviour if it looks like you’ve forgotten to do so.)

You can find those who do it differently than I do. You can find people who will prop you up when a faceplant is the work, who will take your hand and pull you forward while you protest and lean back. They just are not me. I will not work with those folks, either. Just so we’re clear.

/PSA

Authority and submission – not always the dirty little words you think they are

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The quotes below remind me of initiation and the joyful giving up of authority in order to be transformed. It reminds me of why we submit, sometimes, for our own greater good. It reminds me of why I did such on this anniversary of my two initiations, each one done at Beltane. It reminds me of how the action of submission to authority allowed the passing of the currents. It reminds me how in so doing  I could become comfortable with my own authority. These energies so vital to my Joy, these energies that run through me weaving threads of connection and connectedness inward and outward, that bind in Love. These would not have been possible without a new understanding of submission and authority. I am so very grateful.

 

From a Diana’s Grove person:

“A safe group, a healthy group, has a leader. Here’s why: if it doesn’t, then no one is responsible for the group’s safety. Here is the other reason: there are no leaderless groups. Groups have overt leaders, acknowledged leaders, or they have covert, unacknowledged leaders.

Responsibility = Authority = Power = Impact = Responsibility.

If you are Responsible you need the Authority to fulfill that responsibility. If you have Authority, you are Powerful. And if you are Powerful, you make an Impact on others. If you Impact others, you are Responsible for that impact. When you act responsibly in your use of power, and when you take responsibility for the impact you have on others, you gain more authority. That is the spiral of leadership.”

~Cynthea Jones

In discussion about authority, initiation, and submission Amoret spoke of a nugget she gleaned from a work by G. I. Gurdjieff (not his quote because this is a summation of what Amoret took from the text):

Submitting to the will of a trusted teacher is important. You learn to submit to another, and in that process you learn to submit to yourself. Later, when your Godself tells you something is necessary, you act according to your Will.

~Amoret BriarRose

Happy anniversaries to me!