It was my thirteenth year when my father realized he did not actually have three sons, but two sons and a daughter. I think he woke up and was like  ” oh shit,  I have a daughter!” And that scared the hell of of him. Not so much because he did not know how to contend with a girl child but because his daughter would one day be an adult woman and he knew what my life could easily look like. From that point on my life lessons became more about independence from men.

My father had an eighth grade education. He was in so many ways a product of the 30’s &  40’s’ but in other ways he was a man beyond his times. He new that as an adult woman I was more likely to be abused or controlled by a man than not. And much like preparing…