Gratitude project, day 8, practices that move me

We’re cultivating the necessary atmosphere for a stellar online class titled “The Cauldron of Cerridwen” that Bone and Briar will be launching in October. Poor Cerridwen gets Her name plastered all around, but scant variations exist for the story surrounding Gwion and the year and a day of stirring, spillage and transformations. So, what then? Welp, you go to the source. Fascinating.

Gratitude project, day 7, late night phone calls

I am indeed grateful for a late night phone call with one of my beloveds even though I slept in 2 more hours than usual (possibly 3) yet I am still laughing at some of the things said. And she had to be at work at 7 so really my time crunch is nothing.

On an extra gratitude note, it is my dead mum’s birthday. I am surrounded by Leos every step of my life. This is a good thing! 🙂

Gratitude project, day 4, simply dead

8/4/2005 is the day my nephew drowned in Lake Michigan. It has been 9 years. Nine years – how can that be? He was barely grown, had been changing the direction of his life, happy, and with friends. Rumours swirled yet the autopsy found him not drunk nor drugged, but simply dead. Funny phrase that “simply dead” because it is not simple at all and yet it is. You’re either alive or dead, period. Seems pretty cut and dried. The process of wrapping your mind and life around the change from life to death? Well, that is a whole other thing.

Every year. Every year since 2005 at this part of August my heart folds in a bit on itself. I still can’t say much about it.

I am grateful for all those who help to keep you remembered. Blessings to all who hold the memories, hold the love, and hold each other while tears flow. Blessings to those who retell the stories that allow hearts to soften with smiles. Love love love to you, Jonathan. I am grateful to have known you. You are remembered and what’s remembered, lives.

 

Gratitude project, day 3, migraine help

I awoke with a migraine and this time I know how I prompted it. While at camp one of the women there is an Osteopath and she generously donated her services to all who were twisted and creaking. I have a knot of thoracic discs that bunch up using the muscle like super glue to hold them together and cause severe pain. <—– except for the pain level my description is my own and probably inaccurate as hell. I get stomach + back pain and was always blaming my stomach. Oh no ….. seems the back was tweaking the stomach via nerve pressure. Anyway, she did some magical sit-up/fall back maneuver that broke apart the knot.(And really a big shout-out to Julie for her generosity of her gift at camp. I think I can work on keeping that part of my back unbunched and have a better daily life quality.) Since the release I’ve not had a tight pulling pain behind my right knee or persistent twinges in the back of my right hip. All connected. Since home from camp I’ve been trying to keep that knot in my back undone. One way is at night to put a neck roll pillow under my mid back while on my right side. Instant relief. unless you accidentally fall asleep that way. So, back didn’t hurt, but the slipped discs in my neck took offense and clamped down. Enter migraine. Also enter what not to do while falling asleep. :p

It didn’t start too horribly, but it was advancing and so I took a tincture made by beloved Sarah at Herbs from the Labyrinth named “Headache Away”. My migraine has not progressed to full tilt DIEDIEDIE as I like to classify them. So there is my gratitude for today, for Sarah and her tincture!

I will not drag you kicking and screaming to the Work

You want to learn, you want to do Deep Work. Kudos! I will assist you when you ask and when I am able, but I will not drag you kicking and screaming to it. If you want it the impetus must come from within you not from me on the outside.

I gladly parse out energy to willing people. I become miserly when you wish to lie on your back with the expectation that I’ll grab your foot and drag you with me. Push you? Oh, hayel yes! Catch you when you tip backwards from the force? Sure, as long as the lesson isn’t the fall itself. But if you want it you have to reach for it. That’s what this path is: being the force behind the Will and then engaging Will to be Who You Said You Would Be.

(On a related note: No skipping steps. No, IRAB (I Read A Book) or ITAC (I Took A Class) and now I’m ready to instruct others without all the praxis that must occur in between those steps. If you skip the steps the missing pieces will be spotlighted with time and the community you wish to engage will avoid you.

If you desire to be taken seriously, if your wish is to be Seen and Known and Trusted then you must Do The Work all the way through. You must want it, reach for it, and practice it. And check your ego and ethics every step of the way while surrounding yourself with folks who will call you on your behaviour if it looks like you’ve forgotten to do so.)

You can find those who do it differently than I do. You can find people who will prop you up when a faceplant is the work, who will take your hand and pull you forward while you protest and lean back. They just are not me. I will not work with those folks, either. Just so we’re clear.

/PSA

The Gratitude Project – it begins again!

Ground rules: The gratitude project is one post per day about something for which you are truly grateful and it runs from Lammas to Mabon. It can be a big or little gratitude, but no repeats – you can be grateful for your spouse/kids/job/friends, but the reason for the gratitude needs to be different for each entry. This project was started by [personal profile] estaratshirai .  I have been doing it since 2004.

I am grateful for keeping connections from camp alive and fed throughout the year between camps. Tonight was a long phone conversation with Scarlet!

(entry back dated due to length of phone call *grin*)