8/4/2005 is the day my nephew drowned in Lake Michigan. It has been 9 years. Nine years – how can that be? He was barely grown, had been changing the direction of his life, happy, and with friends. Rumours swirled yet the autopsy found him not drunk nor drugged, but simply dead. Funny phrase that “simply dead” because it is not simple at all and yet it is. You’re either alive or dead, period. Seems pretty cut and dried. The process of wrapping your mind and life around the change from life to death? Well, that is a whole other thing.

Every year. Every year since 2005 at this part of August my heart folds in a bit on itself. I still can’t say much about it.

I am grateful for all those who help to keep you remembered. Blessings to all who hold the memories, hold the love, and hold each other while tears flow. Blessings to those who retell the stories that allow hearts to soften with smiles. Love love love to you, Jonathan. I am grateful to have known you. You are remembered and what’s remembered, lives.