When the Dead tell Boneweaver Samhain is about the Living, too

This past week has been an interesting flip on what has traditionally been my Samhain focus. As I connected, sure and happy in this potent time, I was reminded the thin veil is transparent from both sides. As I stepped forth to be with my Peeps in what is usually a celebration of the endless cycle and the Great Dance with my Beloved and Mighty Dead, I was gently turned around, hands settling on my shoulders as They stood behind me, and directed to see Life from Their side and not the Otherworld from Life’s side.

I had occasion earlier in the week to hold space for 2 people, one an adult and one a child, as great pain washed over and around them. I let it flow over me and pushed it far out to join the ether-ocean where it could be transformed by Those on the Other Side of life. Though a few tears slipped down my cheeks, they were short-lived, my Job that day was to direct and push away, not absorb and join the emotional waves. Oh, I had them, those crashing waves, but I commanded them in-and-down, in-and-down, away from the upper world. I “lost it” as the saying goes, in a wee corner of my soul, boxed for a purpose until the work was done. I know me and I know how this goes. I knew I would “crash” the next day, full of fatigue and sorrow. I boxed those things because who I held space for are about as near and dear to me as is possible to be. and the way of being useful and showing my love in a situation where there is no quick fix was to just be there, and hold space.

The next day was a blur as it seemed every time I sat down I fell asleep, exhausted from the energy requirement of the day before. I do not regret holding that space. When loved ones hurt from things that are simply deeply painful and that only time can ease, one of the things we do in my tradition is hold gentle loving space for them. And so I did.

I sent 2 text messages in the subsequent 3 days, remaining mindful of the careful balance between allowing folks room to experience what only they can while not cutting them off altogether. So I held a much larger, more loose space in the following days. The fatigue lingered in lessening amounts each day up to yesterday, which was Samhain. I was away from home last night and I admit I checked my phone 3-4 times for my own peace of mind, but I sent no more messages, continuing to allow space for the other person and to allow myself space to celebrate Samhain in divinatory comradery.

It was a late night. I am once again sleep-deprived, but content. The message I received this Samhain? “Turn around. Look at the fullness of what Life holds from Our side. This is why we repeat – death, to life, to death, to life – to feel the richness from both sides.”

Through Their eyes,


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