Health update.

Port wound is healing and the swollen lymph nodes from collarbone up that the other port put into an MCAS flare are slowly decreasing in size.

Things cancer has taught me:

I will never be who I was before I knew I had cancer. Like any big whatzit, this is true for everyone. I realized my efforts to “feel like myself again” were not only futile, but impossible. That person is gone.

Chemo is great for killing cancer cells. It is also great at killing every other cell.

Killing cells hurts. Everywhere. Every day. It’s also tires out every single cell.

Heat helps the pain. Except when it doesn’t.

Moving helps the pain. Except when I move too much.

Stretching helps the pain. Except when it doesn’t.

Rest helps the fatigue. Except when it doesn’t.

My skin is drier, thinner. My veins have shadows around them I’m so see through.

On and on. Resetting my mind to these new realities is a slow process.

Death update. Not much has changed. Still terminal, still doing the things to hang around for years to come.

This Sunday our community death collective named “Return to Stardust” presents our Lifting the Veil death salon 101 again. I’m able to participate this time!